I swear I’m going to start blogging more than once every 2 months…
Today, I’m writing from the fine city of Norfolk, VA, host of a work-related training that I just attended. Actually, I don’t know if Norfolk is a fine city or not, as I haven’t moved beyond a quarter mile radius of my hotel. Normally whenever I travel, I try to see the city I’m visiting by going for a run around the area. I thought I’d be able to do the same here until I arrived and realized that Norfolk has exactly zero runnable roads. There are no sidewalks or shoulders on the main roads, and side roads are too short and winding, requiring more turns than I allow myself when I’m in a new city and highly prone to getting lost.
That left me with my only option of running on the hotel treadmill. Now, I should say that I’m actually a treadmill veteran who used to do over 50% of my runs on that crazy machine. I primarily did so for safety / weather / convenience reasons, and I generally didn’t mind it. But in the past year or so, I’ve been running exclusively outside, and the dreadmill has since become unbearable.
So with 10 miles on the plan, I was less than excited. I arrived at the gym to see that it was literally half the size of my hotel room (which granted, is a large suite). Still, I knew I was in for a mental adventure, and so began the following train of thought:
Pre-run: Good – there’s only one other person in here. But crap, he’s on one of the treadmills. I hate when there’s a sea of empty machines and someone else gets on the machine right next to you. But sorry, dude, there are only two treadmills, and they’re both in the same corner of the room. Sorrrry.
Mile 1: I can’t hear the communal TV. I wish I still had an iPod. Dude next to me is listening to his iPod. I bet he’s having more fun than me. Treadmills are so weird. Don’t fall off.
Miles 2: Holy shit, it’s burning up in here! I can’t breathe. I wonder what the thermostat is set to… not that it matters, because there’s a locked plastic box around it. Why can’t we change the temperature, Residence Inn?? What are you trying to do to us??
Mile 3: Treat this as a good mental training day, Chen. Ignore the heat. Ignore the boredom. If you can get through this, a marathon in cool weather will feel delightful. Yeah, delightful. Go with that.
Mile 4: Dude just left. Now I can turn up the TV and actually know what’s going on. And… what’s that?? Is that cool air blowing onto my face??? I don’t know how this is happening. I wonder if the hotel staff is secretly watching me, thinking, “damn, that girl is sweaty as hell, we better pump up the A/C.” WHATEVER. IT’S AWESOME. STALK AWAY, HOTEL FOLKS.
Mile 5: Emeril Lagasse and Ty Pennington are on Good Morning America trying to break the record for the tallest stack of pancakes. Previous record was 2 feet, 10 inches. Can they do it?? They’re using pumpkin pancakes. Mmm. I’m hungry.
Mile 6: It’s getting hot again. Where did that cool air go? Maybe I don’t need to do 10 miles today… maybe I can just add on some extra miles tomorrow. No, Chen, you know that won’t happen. You’ll just get home and order crab fried rice instead. Suck it up.
Mile 7: My shirt is completely soaked. I forgot how much sweatier you get when running indoors and there’s no airflow. Glad I’m alone in here. That dude from before would be horrified right about now.
Mile 8: They did it! 2 feet, 10.25 inches! I wonder what they’ll do with all those pancakes. Maybe they'll mail them to me if I ask.
Mile 9: Live with Kelly and Michael just came on. Sounds so weird. Wonder what Regis is up to these days. Kelly has ripped arms. I need to start lifting again.
Mile 10: OMG. I’m so sweaty that I can feel my socks squishing and my shoes are now squeaking against the belt. I hope I don’t wipe out. Don’t wipe out. That belt is super sweaty and you don’t want your face to rub against it.
Mile 10.2: Thank the good lord - I'm done and I didn't face plant into my own puddle of sweat!
Post-run [looking in mirror]: OMG I GOT SO SWEATY THAT MY (WHITE) SHORTS ARE NOW SEE-THROUGH. Can I dry it off? Nope. Should I wrap the towel around myself while I walk through the lobby? No – they’ll think I’m trying to steal their towels. OK – just walk really, really fast and hope none of your coworkers are also attending this training and staying in the same hotel. Annnnnd here we go…. No guests in lobby… and front desk person is on the phone, not paying attention! #WINNING!
Sadly, I have to do my run tomorrow on the same treadmill, but only 5 miles this time. I'll be sure not to wear white shorts.
And, since I don't have any pictures of Norfolk, here's a picture from my flight over:
You better believe I filtered that $h!t
I love this post for so many reasons:
ReplyDelete1.) I tried to go for a run from a hotel in Nashville and had the same issue with the roads (they were for cars ONLY). Also, the only green thing I ate that week was fried in bacon fat.
2.) Mile 4 was awesome.
3.) Pumpkin pancakes are the BEST PANCAKES!! I would have quit my run right there and went for breakfast.
4.) Mile 10. Why the hell did you do an extra 0.2 in those conditions?!
5.) White shorts sounds kind of like a rookie error :)
6.) I've had the same issue in hotels..coming in all sweaty and hoping like crazy that you don't get stuck in the elevator with a co-worker.
7.) Awesome photo!
1) Ahh crap. I'm going to Nashville next spring and was hoping to run around the city. How do people in this general region train?? And food here isn't any better - I've had the worst Chinese food ever for two nights in a row because it's my only option.
Delete2) I'll look for the hidden camera tomorrow and wave.
3) I've never had them - must make them immediately.
4) Well, part of it was because I wanted to see the end of the segment on Kelly and Michael. And the other part was that I think you have to run slightly farther on a treadmill to get the same benefits as if you had run outside. Not sure that there's any science behind that.
5) I knowwww... I decided at the last minute to run inside instead and forgot to change my shorts before I headed to the gym.
6) It's the worst!
7) Instagram filters are magical :)
BEST BLOG POST EVER! Love love love it!
ReplyDelete-Sandi